A Pattern to Avoid Feeling Stuck

While striving to live the gospel as a single adult, it can be hard not to focus on certain areas of our lives that we wish were different. Sometimes it feels like we hit a plateau in our progress. For me, those feelings of being stuck in certain areas seem to ebb and flow, and they can accompany me over days, months, and gradually even years. I’ve always had many reasons to be happy and feel good about life, but at one point, this stuck feeling hit me particularly hard.

During that time, my teenage nephew asked to spend time with me. He recognized a need for goals in his life and asked for advice. I didn’t necessarily feel I was in a position of strength to offer great wisdom, but I listened. I knew I could “cry unto” God for help (see Alma 34:17–27) and prayed to be able to say something meaningful for him. In response, I remembered Luke 2:52: “Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.”

As I strived to focus on my nephew’s needs instead of my own, something started to change in me. My nephew and I talked about how Christ grew spiritually, socially, physically, and intellectually and so could we. Although my nephew’s needs differed from mine, these four areas of growth were pertinent to both of us. While talking about this scripture, I realized it was answering my own questions about how to get unstuck.

When I strived to grow as the Savior grew, my focus changed, and that change brought additional blessings. As President Russell M. Nelson said, “The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”¹ My efforts to grow more like Jesus Christ helped draw attention away from circumstances that had consumed my focus and redirect it to areas I could productively work on. I was able to move from inward contemplation to outward action.

I earnestly considered how I might grow in each area mentioned in Luke 2:52, from more consistently attending the temple to completing a long bike race.

In each area of my goals, I made some observations:

1. While working on one goal, I frequently felt Christ strengthen me spiritually, socially, physically, and intellectually all within that single goal.

2. Rarely, if at all, did any goal happen in isolation from the other areas of growth—they seemed to affect and build on each other. Improvement in one area led to improvement in all other areas. Neglecting any area likewise affected all other areas. I realized that each area deserves attention.

3. Almost every goal included other people—either learning from them or sharing thoughts and experiences with them—and deepened our relationships.

I continually have the opportunity to see and be inspired by growth in others, and I hope I can do the same for them. I recently spoke with a single friend who feels stuck and frustrated with some life circumstances. I listened to understand, and then I was able to share experiences that helped me and also point each area of growth back to the Savior.

While not all areas of life that had left me feeling stuck years ago have changed, I have changed as I’ve learned to focus more on the Savior and strive to grow like Him. As President Nelson shared, “There are many things we can control. We set our own priorities and determine how we use our energy, time, and means. … We choose those to whom we will turn for truth and guidance.”² Whatever our circumstances, the areas of growth in Luke 2:52 can help us change our focus and find additional joy and progress through Heavenly Father and the Savior.

The author lives in Tennessee, USA.