The Powerful Difference Between “I Love You” and “Love You”

Ever since I was little, I dreamed of the day the love of my life would confess his deep, fiery, and passionate love for me. I pictured rose petals scattered on the floor, dimly lit candles lining the room, and a colorful arrangement of flowers in his hands as he would look me in the eyes, slowly lean in closer, and say those three magical words.

But of course, the dream I had did not go as planned.

Instead, I got a text message saying, “I love you (red heart emoji).”

“Doesn’t that make you MAD he said it over text?”

“Why would you say it back under those circumstances?”

“So are you going to break up with him now?”

These were just some of the responses I received after telling my friends how after 9 months of dating, we had finally told each other “I love you.”

But the truth was, I wasn’t mad at all.

Before him, I had a couple of different boyfriends and every single one of them had all confessed their love to me by saying a quick “love you.” And then we went on with both of our days.

But when this man said “I love you”, I could feel that it meant something completely different than the “love you’s” my past relationships had told me. I realized that there was a grave difference between “I love you” and “love you.”

So, it wasn’t necessarily about how he said it, like how all of my friends perceived it to be.

It was more about the emotion and intent behind those three words.

The Meaning Behind “Love You”

“Love you” is a general and vague statement.

I say “love you” to the girl who commented “You look nice” on my Instagram picture.

I say “love you” to Beyoncé at her concert when she starts to sing “Love on Top”.

I say “love you” to the tub of ice cream that I reward myself with after a hard day.

Without knowing it, we distance ourselves from the people we say “love you” to because it’s easy to wave it off.

If the other person doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings, we can simply shrug our shoulders and move on with our lives.

“Love you” often feels less intimate and typically connotates a less committed relationship with the other person.

But if the intent behind the phrase is to make things casual or light-hearted, then saying “love you” isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

We can say “love you” in a text message or as a quick goodbye since the atmosphere and tone of the conversation are very relaxed and easy-going.

But when we want to express our love to people that hold significant meaning to our lives, “love you” can come across as detached or indifferent.

This creates a barrier between you and the other person you are saying it to.

But what could happen if we start to say “I love you” instead of “love you”?

The Meaning Behind “I Love You”

There is no denying that there is an all-powerful meaning to love. It’s a feeling and an emotion we naturally crave as social human beings.

The phrase “I love you” justifies the involvement of you and the other person. It not only means that there is love for you, but it also means that the love for you is from me, creating emotional intimacy.

By starting the phrase with “I”, you take ownership and affirm your feelings of love. You create a deeply emotional tie between you and the other person you are saying it to. The message you send esteems clear intent, and that in itself is so powerful.

“I love you” also comes from a deep and genuine place in your heart.

Finding this place in your heart does not come easy for most people. It takes patience, compassion, understanding, and courage to dig deeper. When we do this, we not only learn more about the other person, but we find out more about ourselves as well.

Even with all of these things, why is it still so hard to say “I love you”?

Why It Is Hard For Us To Say “I Love You”

Have you ever tried saying “I love you” to yourself in the mirror?

Did you find it difficult?

That’s because it is.

Saying “I love you” takes vulnerability.

We live in a world where we are taught that vulnerability is a bad thing. We are told that we should always protect ourselves from love because the heartbreak that comes with it is unbearable.

But without vulnerability, there is no meaning to love.

To be vulnerable with one another entails an open heart. It means we have to be open to not only opportunities around us, but to the hearts of other people as well.

Brene Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, says that if we allow ourselves to be deeply vulnerable to the people around us, we can live a much happier life and become more fulfilled with our interactions with one another.

Saying “I love you” could come more easily if we allow ourselves to become vulnerable with one another.

But vulnerability also takes courage.

If we can let ourselves welcome and embrace the concept of vulnerability, we can reach a breakthrough in our relationships with others and begin to love with our fullest potential.

Love is what you make of it. Love can be unconditional. Love can be romantic.

Knowing the difference between the phrases “love you” and “I love you” can ultimately determine our path of love.

The difference between the two might seem small at first glance since the only thing separating the two phrases is the letter “I.”

But adding the “I” to love changes the meaning drastically. We begin to take responsibility for love and start to live the truth behind its emotional meaning.

It might be hard to transition from saying “love you” to “I love you” in the beginning.

But remember that it is all about the journey, not a finish line. Challenge yourself to rise above and put meaningful value to the relationships that mean the most to you in your life.